Dr. Gabor Maté talks about the link between stressed parenting and the preponderance of childhood disorders like ADHD, autism and oppositional defiant disord…
Video Rating: 4 / 5
Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York. She received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia Unive…
Video Rating: 4 / 5
the best part was 47 mins and 20 seconds in and the baby starts crying and
immediately stops
a room full of attachment therapists has it perks :)
In the last three minutes he answered the question of the lady, and stated
that we need to pick our kids up all the time when they cry. His final
comment was that not picking them up causes them stress – my kid never
seems like he has any stress for all the hundreds of times that he falls or
gets a booboo but gets right back up, laughs, and goes right back on
playing.
My method was to only pick him up when it was a really serious problem,
otherwise with normal booboos, I kneeled next to him (sometimes with my
hand supportively on his back), then asked him how he felt when he was more
collected, and when he was ready, I offered him a hand to help him back up
(which he usually didn’t take because he was very capable of getting back
up).
My feeling is that it would be awful to pick up a kid every single time
they fell, because it obviously creates an unhealthy dependency on the
parent (I’m sure it is bad to never pick them up as well), when this kid
grows up and the parent isn’t around, then they are just going to cry, give
up, and not follow through when things get hard.
What I have always tried to do, is to let him know that I am supportive of
him while he goes through this problem himself, and am really there for him
when it is too much. The result has been what I thought (if it hadn’t been
then I would have changed it), but it really upset me when the females in
my & my wife’s family would freak out and create an enormous scene when my
kid would fall on his butt, and not allow him to get back up on his own –
stripping him of his tools and capabilities. I think that they were
excessive, but children are supposed to have influence from men and women,
and it is most likely good for them that their moms hug them, but their
dads also teach them to get back up on their own. None of the kids that
I’ve met that are 7-9 years old, that had moms that picked them up for
every knee scrape are very capable of doing things for themselves. I don’t
think those kids are good at doing things at all, and I see pain and stress
in their eyes when they come across all the things that they are incapable
of doing.
I feel that my philosophy is in keeping with the bulk of Dr. Mate’s
message, because I don’t try to control, discipline, and punish my kid, I
just try and support him through what he is going through.
Dr. Gabor Maté talks about the link between stressed parenting and the
preponderance of childhood disorders like ADHD, autism and oppositional
defiant disorder, at the KMT Child Development & Community Conference.
+norvman
He sure does! Good thing intelligent people such as yourself are available
for exposing them to the public.
I can’t believe that this guy just went on at length about not using force
against children to create a desired behavior and then compared
force/violence to capitalism. I completely agree with him that force and
violence are not a real way to change behavior that will lead to people to
be able to ‘fish for themselves’ or repeat the behavior and understanding
why they should, but that is the same argument for a
free-market/capitalism.The free-market is a system that people have to win
over people with the quality of their ideas and products, rather than a
government that has to force, punish, jail, steal (tax), and coerce people
to change their behavior. Capitalism = voluntary interaction, Government =
force, punishment, threat, behavior control.
Sorry, I’m a small business owner, and that is just really insulting. It’s
about 99% cooperation (with suppliers, customers, etc.) and 1% competition.
I work very hard to please clients, and I can’t win in what I’m doing
unless they feel like they are winning as well by buying my product. That
relationship always leads in us both saying thank you to each other,
whereas I don’t think I’ve ever thanked the DMV or IRS for their service or
heard a thank you back. The government is who he should insult, not hard
working people who put themselves out there.
What’s next, fornicating on the streets?
I have been crying throughout this entire piece from my own reflections on
this material and it’s bearing on my life. So much is illuminated for me,
the constellation of consequences from loss, abandonment and trauma.
Bullshit! Wanna try a revolutionary new system? Great. Go to a uninhabited
island with some of your fellow peers and try it out. No one needs another
another communist movement with political commissars telling people how
they need to live their lives. If your system’s worth a bag of beans then
people will adapt it at with their own free will. Until then capitalism is
still the best system by far.
Been following Gabor and the work of many others like him for some time
now. Now that we know all of this, we need to move onto the next stage as a
society. I pose the question – What fundamental changes in the economic and
monetary systems must we implement in order to prevent the preconditions of
poverty and inequality that often lead to violence and drug abuse? In a
monetary system getting rid of poverty does not seem possible. The Venus
Project and Zeitgeist movement need consideration.
Yup some guy has answers that threaten drug companies and suddenly the
communists are pissed. That’s because the information is dangerous to their
wallets. Dude, in the face of blatant truth, no one cares about your fear
of losing money. Unless you are here to help heal families and children,
you have no place here.
Thinking about stressed parenting, just imagine what those ‘Tiger Mothers’
are doing to their kids with their fanatically regimented goal-saturated
lifestyles. In the future, this type of parenting will be considered
abusive just like physical punishment is today.
I would encourage all of you interested in learning more about behavior and
society to watch this.
Dr. Gabor Maté: Consequences of Stressed Parenting
Dr. Gabor Maté talks about the link between stressed parenting and the
preponderance of childhood disorders like ADHD, autism and oppositional
defiant disorder, at the KMT Child Development & Community Conference.
For more on the conference:
http://tvoparents.tvo.org/article/chi…
For TVOParents.com:
http://tvoparents.com
haven’t heard Dr Gabor talk but just reading off the first comments is
making me excited!! C’mon parents , get on board!! Sail Away…
I can say only a thing: André Lapierre!
Dr. Gabor Mate is my life-teacher.
When I was a young boy a professional told my mother that when I went on a
‘rage’ I was to be locked in a dark room until I stopped. It caused me to
detach from my family and everyone and I developed depersonalization later
on in life. Even though I got the “disorder”, I still felt like it was the
best thing. I don’t want to be connected to anyone – I don’t think I’d do
it to my child. But it really helped in relying on myself, as that’s all
there really is.
this is great but makes it seem complicated when really it’s just about
respecting the childs feelings and needs.
yes I was very stressed during both of my pregnancies. try some yoga and
read Gordon Neufelds book Hold on to your kids and John Bradshaw
Homecoming. Try Yoga?
Im a huge listener of Dr. Gabor Maté, the few people that follow him
someday gonna change some shits about the establishment. Pd: The woman at
the beggining is so stupid
a profound message of parenting a skill a lack and learn to live our life
as an example of children. Teaching children to live without blame.
This is wonderful!
Intuitive
Convicting
Parents and Public Schools. we’re all fucked. Very smart DR Parents pay
attention to the dark path road we are all headed down. Alternative news.
Our For Fathers PAID IN BLOOD. ALL THE SIGNS ARE EVERWHERE, GOING ON
AROUND US.
small group of powerful people are shredding the US ON OUR WATCH! ok im
way off topic .
If only my parents actually listened.
*Parent power*
Tread lightly with those in your care….
#parenting #privilege #responsibility
Don’t just watch it once. There is so much for us to glean from this video
on parenting, and parenting ourselves.
Damn …. I am awake
Dear Breeders,
Do EXACTLY as she says…..and the world will be a better place.
Our children do model their behavior after us but they are also NOT a 100%
reflection of who we are. They too have a life and journey. They have their
own ‘monkey mind’ and ‘imperfections’ to deal with.
Although as parents we do need to take a good look at how we are presenting
ourselves in the world. Are we a true representation of what we want our
children to become?
What are your thoughts on this video?
http://youtu.be/QM_PQ2WUD2k
This video brought immediate humility as a parent
#Parenting in the new generation…
She says exactly what so many needed to hear. You are lucky to already know
all of this. The sad part isn’t the common sense she’s preaching, the sad
part is that so many have lost their common sense.
Finally, an invigorating, honest and mindful approach to Parenting!! A
truly refreshing contrast to the pedagogic “Tiger Mom” parenting styles….
Read Shefali’s book, The Conscious Parent – Transforming Ourselves,
Empowering Our Children for invaluable insight and introspection.
Great comments and relaxation of Parental advice ♥
We hurt our children for one reason, because we are hurting ourselves
time to enlightened ourselves as parents… a new paradigm of parents…
thanks DR. Shefali 🙂
Smile At Your Baby! LOVES this!
“The extent, to which we as parents know ourselves, is the extent to which
our children will. The extent to which we as parents can love deeply, laugh
loudly, risk bravely and lose freely, is the extent to which our children
will know joy and freedom. The extent to which we can run out into the
rain, without fear of getting wet, is the extent to which our children will
lead lives of courage.”
We are so blessed to hear this, thank you for sharing this with the world,
because we all must hear this!!! Namaste
But you do get wet when you run out in to the rain… :’)